Annual Summer Swan Family Reunion
by assilem33
Summary: Distantly, I hear "what was that" and "was that a coyote" and then "get yer gun, Melvin" and the only wish I have before death is an orgasm by the cock of Edward.


**This is just fun and short. I'm having a bit of writer's block. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

"Bella, you better behave yourself this year."

I scoff and don't bother looking at my mom. Every single year, she drags me up to the mountains to the _Annual Summer Swan Family Reunion,_ and every single year, I do something she finds embarrassing.

I'm 23 years old, and she still treats me like a child.

I've always hated that.

"Where is dad?"

Mom and dad are divorced, but for some reason unknown to me, she still attends these things every year.

"He's around here somewhere. Probably with that hussy of his."

Did I mention that mom and dad loathe each other? Well, that they do. Another reason why I don't understand why she does this to herself every year.

"Mom, Sue is a nice lady."

Now it's her turn to scoff, and boy, does she do it better than me. "I'm going to find your grandmother."

She walks away and leaves me to stand in the fallen pine needles and dusty dirt. I scan the wooded area looking for a familiar face maybe…one I can actually tolerate.

When my eyes land on my cousin Rosalie, I quickly avert my eyes praying to all that is holy she did not see me.

"Bella!"

I _knew_ I shouldn't have stopped going to church. I'm sorry, God, so sorry.

"Bella!"

Gosh dammit.

I move my eyes back and smile and wave so huge and fake even I'm proud of myself for that performance. I should have been an actress.

"Rosie Posie, hi," I say when she's within hugging distance. She wraps her arms around my smaller body, and I feel suffocated by her floral scent.

"It's been so long," she says, and I have to try so hard to keep my eyes from rolling to the back of my head.

It's literally been a year. I saw her last year at the 2017 _Annual Summer Swan Family Reunion._

"It feels like just yesterday," I say, and she just giggles herself silly at my _joke_.

"Oh, Bella. You're a hoot. Come on, I have someone I want you to meet."

I scan the wooded area again, looking for someone, _anyone_ to save me from the clutches of Rosalie. Of all the people, of all the _Swans_ , it was her who landed in front of me.

She stops in front of my cousin Delbert. Yes, his name _is_ Delbert. I think Aunt Mary was drunk off her ass when she popped that one out, but man, is he a riot.

"Where is Edward, Del?"

He turns his head toward me, those magnifying glasses of his making his eyes bulge unnaturally, and grins before saying, "Little Bella, you made it!"

"Hello, Delbert," I say, happily.

"Del," Rosalie says again. "Where is Edward?"

"I don't know, Rosie Posie. I think he said something about needing to take a piss."

"Oh there he is!" She grabs my arm, those claws of hers digging in, and I stomp on her foot making her yelp and release me.

Delbert laughs, and I say, "There was a bug on your shoe."

"Oh," she says, eyeing me unbelievably.

Delbert high fives me when she's not looking, and then we both turn when this Edward walks up, and my good _God_ , is he fucking hot. My eyes move to Rosalie and then back to Edward before moving back to Rosalie, and she smirks at my wide eyes and drooling mouth.

Rosie Posie landed herself the God of all gods.

What?

When?

Where?

Why?

 _How?_

"Close your mouth," Delbert stage whispers out of the corner of his mouth, and I do just that, but then lick my lips when Edward's emerald green eyes crinkle.

"Edward," Rosalie says, linking her arm through his. "This is my cousin Bella. You've already met Delbert. This is Edward. My boyfriend."

"Hey, what's up?" He says, his voice deep and smoky raspy, and I feel a tingle in my forbidden place.

"The sky," I blurt, and Delbert snorts unattractively.

Edward chuckles and sizes me up, his eyes scanning me from head to toe and then _back,_ and my body feels like it's about to explode, so I turn on my heels and walk away, because _fuck me_ do I want him to _fuck me_ with that voice.

"Bella!"

Rosalie calls after me but I hightail it out of there, searching the faces of Swans and Blacks until I find dad sitting on a log with Sue all snuggled on his lap.

"Bella," Dad says, grinning drunkenly. "You made it."

I kiss his head and say hello to Sue and then watch as Delbert parks himself at my side and hands me a cold brew. I pop the tab and drain the can until it's empty.

"My my, ain't you all grown up."

"Dallas," I spit, crushing my can in my fist, imagining it's his big red-headed head. "Fancy seeing you here," I say through clenched teeth.

Dallas is my perverted cousin by marriage. He's Delbert's step-brother, and I loathe his ginger fucking ass. I haven't seen him in years, and I did not miss him one bit.

The last time I saw him, his tongue was in my mouth, and I was trying to climb him like a tree. Mom walked in and screamed like a banshee before yelling things like _incest_ and _cousin fucker_ and _dear God, pray for her soul._

He's not even of blood relation, but that was one of the embarrassing moments she was talking about, and yeah, okay, that was not one of my finest moments.

Dallas is staring at me, licking those thick lips of his, and I just threw up in my mouth a little.

"It'll be nice gettin to know ya later," he says with a wink, and I throw my can at his head, before grabbing Delbert and marching off.

"Eww, Del. What's he doing here?"

"Mom invited him."

 _Aunt Mary is going down._

"Bella!"

I've never hated my name so much in my life.

"Yes, Rose," I say, stopping when she steps in front of me, Edward right next to her, his eyes on me, making my crotch spasm like I'm having a mini seizure in my pants.

"Lunch is being served. I want you to sit with us."

I stare at Edward, at the scar on his eyebrow and wish I could fuck it. Delbert shoves me with his shoulder, and I jerk my eyes to Rosalie's, and say, "What?"

"Lunch, Bella. Eat with us."

"Fine, okay," I say, but what I really want is Edward to eat _me_. Oh God, now I'm imagining it, and Edward is _actually_ licking his lips like he can read my thoughts, and then I lick my lips and then he licks his again and I do the same.

It's a vicious fucking cycle.

"Bella!"

I jerk my eyes to Rosalie, and she's looking at me like I've lost my marbles.

"What?"

"I said that you can share mine and Edward's tent tonight."

 _What the fuck?_

 _Share a tent? With her and Edward? Am I missing something?_

"Huh?"

"Yeah, it has two bedrooms," she says. "Dallas and you will be in the second one."

"Hold up, what? I will not be sharing a tent with _Dallas_. You're crazy!"

"Bella," she says, patiently. "He asked to room with you."

 _What the fucking holy perverted shit is going on here?_

"Rosie, no way," Delbert says. "She doesn't want to."

"I thought it would be nice," she pouts.

"You thought it would be nice?" I say, my eyes narrowed. "What would be nice about that? I don't understand."

Edward is watching me, those green eyes of his smoldering, and I preen like a fucking peacock under his stare, but then move my eyes back to #teamdallas when she starts talking.

"He's nice, Bella. He likes you."

"Delbert, dear, take me away from here. Make me a bird, so I can fly far, far away from here."

Edward chuckles, and I take a step toward him before Delbert grabs my hand and drags me away. I stumble over rocks and pine needles and trip over branches, but my eyes stay on Edward's as he stares after me.

I think he wants to fuck me.

"You've lost it," Delbert says.

"What? Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes."

"Oh, well, it's true."

He shakes his head and pulls me to a stop next to Aunt Mary.

"Bella, love, how are you?"

"I have a bone to pick with you," I say, placing my hands on my hips.

"What's wrong?"

" _Dallas_ , Aunt Mary, _really?_ Do you not remember what happened a few years ago?"

She giggles herself stupid. "Oh, Bella. That was so long ago. Dallas is a nice boy."

I shake my head and wave at Uncle Henri and cousin Al, not minding this bit of company for a while even though my stomach is growling rather loud.

"Here ya go, Bella. I brought you one of them weiners from the grill." A giant sausage dog is placed in front of my face, and I scream bloody murder.

…

…

…

Later that night, when the air is cool and the branches sway under the moonlight, I share a log with Delbert and roast some marshmallows for smores. I can see Rosalie and Edward flickering in and out across the flames, and I imagine shoving Rosalie into the fire, so I can steal Edward and ride _his_ log.

Pulling my burnt marshmallow from the flame, I grab my graham crackers and chocolate and smash it all together. I eat three of them before I tell Delbert I'm done for the night.

Dad and Sue are cutting up a rug on the dirt dance floor and mom is glaring daggers at them both.

All in all, it's been a good day.

"Let's dance," Delbert says, pulling me up.

I let him lead me to the _dirt_ , and he two steps me around dad and Sue and then I see mom grab Dallas and dance with him and when he palms her ass, she slaps him across the face and stomps off.

Dallas winks at me, and I feel smore churning in my stomach. When Rosalie walks by and chases after Dallas, I watch the two of them, really confused.

He's saying something and then she's say something, and then he's speaking some more, and then she's stomping her foot, and then they're walking away in the same direction… _together…in the dark woods._

"Can I cut in?"

"Sure," Delbert says, backing away, but I squeeze his hand when he tries to leave me.

He can't leave me alone with _Edward_? What if I embarrass myself? What if try to hump his leg or something?

 _Don't you leave me_ , my eyes say.

 _Let go of my hand_ , Delbert's magnified ones glare.

 _No!_

Slowly our fingers separate as Delbert pulls further and further away, and my hand remains outstretched like I'm losing my long-lost love.

 _Don't leave me, Delbert. Don't you dare say goodbye._

"Bella."

I startle at the sound of the deep, smoky rasp of Edward's voice, and when I look into those emerald, green eyes, _fuck_ Delbert.

Delbert who?

"Yes?"

Edward pulls me into his arms, but this is no two-step. His arms are around my waist, and mine are planted on his chest, and he's moving me all sexual and slow. He is so turning me on right now. I claw his chest a little bit, and he gasps, and I don't apologize, but I do it _harder_ and he's like _oww, fuck,_ and then I release him, kind of horrified at my animalistic behavior, but when I look up at his lusty eyes, I almost swallow my tongue.

"Where is Rosalie?" I ask, pulling out of his arms.

"She went to the bathroom."

 _With Dallas?_

"Let's go find her," I say and grab Edward's big hand. _God,_ it's so big. He laces his fingers with mine, and that little devil on my shoulder is saying _fuck him, girl. Fuck him real good,_ and when I'm about to listen to the little minx, we stumble into the woods and find Rosalie squatting with her pants around her ankles.

"Ayyyeeeeee," she screeches, standing up so fast she falls on her bare ass on the dirt.

I laugh so hard, I almost pee my pants, and Rosalie is rolling around on the ground trying to get her pants up, but all she's accomplishing is getting dirt in her crotch _and_ her crack, and Edward is chuckling as he tries to pull her up.

I run away, so far away, ignoring my little devil shouting _fuck him, girl. Fuck him real good._

"Rosalie's right _there,_ you idiot," I shout out loud to no one.

…

…

…

I wake up to loud groans and hissed whispers and pull the blanket over my head, horrified. That should be _me_ right now. _I_ should be the one getting pounded on the tent floor, developing bruises on my ass from sharp rocks and broken twigs, dammit.

I close my eyes and imagine him on top of me, his hands in my hair as he slides his cock inside of me, and when Rosalie moans _Dalllllllaaaaaasss_ , so do I…. _wait, what!_

Sitting up, I throw the blankets off me, and crawl to the zipped opening that separates the two-room tent. Yes, I took Rosalie up on her offer, but Dallas was not supposed to be _here._

Slowly, so slowly, I unzip the zipper, and peek my eyes through the opening. My eyes are deceiving me, they _have_ to be, because that's not Rosalie sitting on ginger cock. It _can't_ be.

 _Incest,_ I want to yell. _Cousin fucker,_ I want to shout. _Save her soul,_ I want to pray, but Dallas is no blood relation, and Rosalie can fuck him all she wants.

Slowly, so slowly, I zip that zipper back up and cringe when I hear Dallas, hissing, _Yeah, right there. Ride that there cock real good, Rosie Posie. Make it come, make that there cock come._ I regurgitate my dinner like a mama bird when Rosalie purrs, _oh Dallas. God, Dallas. Dallas. Dallas. Dallas. God, Dallas. You fuck like a God._

What the fuck is going on here? This is some _Hills Have Eyes_ shit up in here.

Crawling from the tent, I fall onto the dirty, hard ground and pick myself up and dust myself off and slip my shoes on. I walk around the campground, refraining from patting my leg and saying, _Here, Edward. Come here, Edward. Come here, boy. Come to mama._

A lot of Swans and Blacks are still awake, sitting by the fires, drinking and laughing themselves stupid.

My eyes zero in on Delbert before they spot Edward, sitting next to him. I make my way over, and Delbert raises his glassy eyes. "Little Bella, hey. I thought you were sleepin."

"I _was_ ," I say, glancing at Edward's godly face. "I woke up."

Edward pats the log next to him, and I take a seat, inhaling woodsy pine and hot as fuck _man._ Delbert hands me a beer, and I drink it and ask for another. I don't say anything about Rosalie and ( _barf)_ Dallas, but I have a suspicion that Edward knows what Rosalie is up to anyhow.

When Delbert wanders off to bed, I scoot closer to Edward, and say, "Hi."

He looks down at me, and I smile up at him like a freak. He chuckles and leans down, and I pucker my lips because _oh my God, he's going to_ kiss _me_ , but then he squints his eyes, and says, "You have chocolate in your teeth."

 _Mother of God, no!_

I slap a hand over my mouth and rub my tongue across my teeth. I mean, I was only joking about regurgitating like a mama bird, so that's just plain old chocolate from my earlier smore. But man, am I humiliated.

"Let me see," he says all calm, cool, and collected like he didn't just humiliate the absolute fucking hell out of me.

I hold my hand tighter on my mouth and shake my head, and he tries to pry my hand away, but I'm freakishly strong. He laughs, and uses both hands to move my hand, and he says, "Smile."

I smile, and he says, "It's gone. I was going to lick it off for you."

What what?

"Rosalie's fucking Dallas right now," I blurt, and then slap my hand back over my mouth. "Oh my God," I mumble. "I'm sorry. Oh God."

Edward chuckles, and says, "I know."

What _what?_

"You _know?_ You don't care that your _girlfriend_ is fucking her cousin?"

"It's not her cousin," he defends, and I stare. "She's not my girlfriend."

"But…" I run a hand through my hair, trying to calm my racing heart and my pulsing clit. "She said you were her boyfriend."

He nods. "She was trying to make you jealous."

"Why in the world would she want me to be jealous?"

"Because she loves Dallas."

"Excuse me," I say. "Did you just say Rosalie _loves_ Dallas?"

He nods, and I stand, completely and utterly disgusted right now.

Rosalie loves Dallas.

She loves Dallas.

Rosalie _loves_ perverted Dallas.

I've never been so baffled in my life, but then something registers in my brain. Edward is stroking a hand up my thigh, and he's not Rosalie's boyfriend.

Edward is not Rosalie's boyfriend.

He's not her boyfriend.

Edward is _not_ Rosalie's _boyfriend._

His hand inches higher, and I look down at him kneeling at my feet, and say, "Come with me."

…

…

…

"Oh fuck, you're fucking sexy," Edward rasps, lifting me into his arms and pushing my bare back and bare ass against tree bark.

I'm going to have bark burn in the morning, but right now, I can't find one fuck to give.

Edward's condom covered cock is rubbing against my entrance, and I squirm and wrap my legs around his waist to pull him closer.

"Kiss me," I gasp, and he slams his mouth onto mine just as he shoves his dick all the way inside me.

I bite his tongue, and he grunts and shoves me higher up the tree as he thrusts inside me so hard I'm going to feel him for days.

He releases my lips and bites down my neck until he's licking across my breasts and sucking a nipple into his hot mouth. His hips drive faster, and his lips suck harder, and I thread my fingers through his thick hair, chanting _fuck, fuck, fuck_ over and over.

When he pulls out, I growl and then scream when he rams back inside me.

Distantly, I hear _what was that_ and _was that a coyote_ and then _get yer gun, Melvin_ and the only wish I have before death is an orgasm by the cock of Edward.

"Fuck," Edward says, releasing my sore nipple. "Do they really think you're a coyote?"

I half laugh and half moan, telling him, "Don't stop! For the love of God, do _not_ stop!"

He fucks me fast and hard, so fast and hard, I feel blood dripping down my back and into my crack, and I pant, "They're coming. Oh my God."

He pauses his thrusts, and lifts me into his arms, shuffling us onto the other side of the tree. Flashlights beam through the woods, and the only thought I have with Edward's cock buried inside me is, _are they really hunting a coyote?_

What the fuck?

"Look at that there blood there," Dallas says, and if I had a cock, it would be deflated right now. It's a good thing Edward isn't me.

His eyes sparkle, and he slowly pulls out and slams back inside, and a noise escapes my throat, like a purr but deeper.

"Wait," Dallas says. "Did ya hear that?"

Edwards lips cover mine and he continues to fuck me against the tree. One hand squeezes my ass, and the other finds my clit and flicks it, making me yelp into his mouth.

"I think there's a pup out there. Listen!"

Edward continues to rub my clit, and I squeeze my legs around his waist, trying to tell him I'm about to come, and he pumps his hips faster, rubs his finger harder, and I explode with a muffled cry into Edward's mouth.

His thrusts get sloppier, and my body shakes with the power behind his fucks, and when he finally comes, he roars into my mouth as he releases inside me.

"That ain't no pup, Dal. That there's a wolf out there."

 _These fucking people_!

…

…

…

By Sunday, Rosalie is flaunting the perverted ginger all around camp, and Delbert is as shocked as I was by this turn of events.

I don't see the appeal, but _love is blind_ as the people that say that say.

"Bella, your mom was looking for you," Dad calls, and I wave as he gets into his truck with Sue and drives away from camp.

Arms wrap around my waist, and a cheek nuzzles against my neck, and I purr like a kitten. "Give me your number," he says, nipping at the tender skin.

I hand him my phone, and he grinds his dick into my ass as he punches his number in and calls his phone before handing it back.

He turns me in his arms and kisses my lips, soft and tender at first and then I turn it savage as I try to crawl into his mouth and live there. He groans, and I lift a leg and try to climb up him, but stupid Delbert walks up and says, "Get a room, fuckers."

"Delbert," I groan, putting my foot back on the ground. "Go away."

"No can do, Little Bella. Me and mom are riding with you."

"I have to get going," Edward says, and I grip him harder. "I'll call you. I want to see you again." He licks his lips and arches that scarred eyebrow.

I reluctantly let him go, when what I really want is to push _him_ against a tree and fuck him with my mouth.

Maybe we'll find a tree in Seattle.

"Okay," I say, and he kisses me one more time before walking his fine ass away from me.

I sigh longingly, and Delbert wraps an arm around my shoulder. "Let's go find our moms, lover girl."

"Oh, Delbert. You saw him. He's so fucking hot, and he fucks like a…"

His smashes a big hand against my mouth, making me laugh.

When we get to one of the last trailers left here, Delbert pulls open the door, and Delbert and I both scream like banshees as mom sits on Aunt Mary's face.

 _Mom fucker,_ Delbert yells.

 _Incest,_ I shriek, even though it's _not_.

 _Sister fucker,_ Delbert screams.

 _Cleanse their souls, God,_ I pray, and Delbert slams the door.


End file.
